“Alaska Casual”

Last night, my boyfriend and I went out to this bistro, pretty much what counts as fine dining up here. Now, we like to look nice on our dates. You know, skirts and dresses for me, nice pants and a button-up for him.

We were a little disappointed that no one else seems to be too concerned about this.

Seriously, when the poor, teenage couple is the best dressed in the bistro, people have taken “Alaska Casual” a little too far.

I mean, if people don’t have super-nice clothes, that’s fine. But I’m pretty sure they can dress better for a bistro date┬áthan a tye-dye t-shirt and denim shorts.

Do people dress up more other places? Because Alaska is super laid-back and casual, so I have no clue if this is normal for people to wear jeans on fancier dates.

It was very nice for us though ­čÖé

So do people dress up where you live? Do you dress up for dinner dates?

The Writer I Wish I Was

With my current reading list, I’ve come to almost idolize two writers who are completely new to me. Not the people themselves, but their flawless writing style.

These two writers are John Green and Ayn Rand.

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Okay (hahahaha John Green joke. It hurts.) if you’ve read any John Green, I’m sure you’ve noticed his extensive, almost over-the-top vocabulary. Well I love it. I think it’s beautiful and charming and it added so much to the story for me. I loved his use of the English language, besides the cussing. I could do without that. Reading The Fault in our Stars was like reading poetry. Acceptable poetry.

Now, Ayn Rand is a completely different story. I’m reading Atlas Shrugged and I am constantly finding myself in awe of the woman’s genius. That’s the only way I can describe her writing. It’s bleak, and technical, yet so very descriptive. She thought of ways to describe characters that had never occurred to me before. She has created an entirely new scope of imagination for me.

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I realize that, as a writer, I have to find my own voice, my own writing style. But if I could choose, it would be an equal mix between these two incredible writers.

It Takes Two

You know how people say ‘a relationship is between two people, not the world.’ Well guess what? That’s true. I suppose that’s why I don’t really like the courting idea. Because then the relationship is kind of the family’s property, not just the two people.

There are so many perks to spending most the time in a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend and just them

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  • Builds trust

There are so many things that you just don’t feel comfortable sharing in front of┬áfamily, yours or theirs. Deepest secrets, weird quirks, random things. Talking alone, just the two of you, reveals a whole new side of yourself, a side that is normally hidden away. It creates a level of trust that has no equal.

  • Going beyond the surface

An extension of the previous, and biggest, reason. When you’re alone is when you show your raw personality for them to either accept or reject. You begin to learn whether or not you’re truly compatible. You discover quirks and potential conflicts. You find out what traits are endearing and which are infuriating.

  • Allows the relationship to progress naturally.

When it’s just the two of you, no external influences are either forcing or stunting the progression of the relationship. You come to things as you come to things. Sure, there will be some outside expectations, but it doesn’t seem like they carry as much weight as they would if your entire relationship was on display for family.

In no way am I saying that family involvement in unnecessary or bad. I’m just saying it should be limited. You may be able to be yourself around your family, but what about your boyfriend/girlfriend? They couldn’t possibly feel comfortable sharing the weirdest, most wonderful parts of them with your entire family present. They will be opened to some, not all, of those things over time.

But definitely make sure that they are around your family an acceptable amount, especially if you’re entertaining the idea that one day you could marry that person. Because then they will be part of the family, so they better know what they’re getting into.

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What are your opinions on the involvement of family in relationships?

How to Get Your Friends to Disapprove of You in 1 Easy Step

Step 1: Be a Christian who dates in high school. (If you’re homeschooled, this adds to the effect.)

 

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Okay, so maybe this isn’t the most effective way for most of you. In order for this to work you need to be Christian, with Christian friends who aren’t allowed to date yet. And like I said, it works best if you and your friends are homeschooled.

I have nothing against my friends who think dating in high school isn’t the greatest idea. However, there are some fantastic perks to dating in high school.

  • Boundaries are already set by parents.

Let’s face it, for some of us, boundaries are not easy to maintain. In dating, this can be dangerous. But, when you date in high school, your parents set the boundaries… and there are awful consequences if you step outside those boundaries. Come on, who likes getting yelled at by disappointed parents? No one? That’s what I thought.

  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend has to get to know your family.

I’m not an expert in the field of college dating, but if you’re off away at college before you start dating, it gets a lot harder for your family to get to know who you’re dating.

  • Makes your relationship with your parents stronger.

Now, maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but it has been very true for me, especially with my mother. I get a ton of guidance from her, guidance that I probably wouldn’t get if I was moved out. I tell her practically everything that goes on with me and my boyfriend. She laughs with me when something great happens, and helps me to be reasonable when something not-so-great happens. This has all helped along┬áthe inevitable┬átransition from parent/child to friends.

  • You see your parents’ marriage in a new light.

Being in a relationship has given me an entirely new perspective on my parents’ relationship. It has made me appreciate how much work it takes to stay in love with someone and shown me how to appreciate my boyfriend’s strengths and weaknesses.┬á

  • Parents’ experiences can help the young couple

Your parents’ are pretty good at recognizing issues early on, especially if they had to go through the same things. In these cases, your parents can give super helpful insight about how to solve these problems. And my mom has given me quite a few pointers on dealing with men ­čśŤ

So yes, I have reasons for why I think dating in high school isn’t a terrible idea, I’m not just some love-struck teenage girl who decided that her way was the right way.

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Opinions, people? I’m sure you have them ­čÖé┬á

 

The ‘D’ Word

Dun dun dunnnnnn…..

DATING

*Gasp* oh dear, oh dear, the controversy is boundless. Everyone has their opinion about it, and very few are shy about sharing it. So why should I be?

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I already realize that a lot of you, especially Facebook friends, will disagree with me, but just keep in mind that it’s my opinion, and that I have reasons.

Ok, so first and foremost, when is dating okay? High school? College? After college? Never, instead do ‘courting’?

Well, obviously it depends on the parents and the religious views, but personally I think dating is just fine in high school. Not required as a part of some social ritual, but acceptable.

Under conditions.

I do not approve of any sort of dating, no matter the age, if you’re dating just to date. If it’s super casual. Like, “Hey, that guy’s cute, I’ll flirt with him until he asks me out because I haven’t kissed a guy in┬átwo weeks.” Yeah, let’s not do that. That’s just leading up to emotional damage for one or both parties.

But, if you and this other person realize that there could be a lot to the relationship, then by all means, date each other and find out. What’s the point in waiting until you’ve both graduated high school and wasting those years that could be used to get to know each other on a deeply personal level.

Some might say that those two people could just hang out a lot and talk, get to know each other that way.

But wait… isn’t that practically┬áthe same thing as dating, at least on that level?

Haha, yeah. Yeah, it is. So that doesn’t work.

Oh, but isn’t courting more biblical? Doesn’t it give the family a chance to get to know the couple together?

Actually, before tackling courting, I would like to point out the Bible doesn’t deal with dating. It wasn’t an issue back then! So if you really want to be Biblical, marry your daughters off to the man with the most camels.

Courting sounds great, the boy interested in the girl comes over to the house, eats dinner with the family, endures awkward social situations with said family, then goes on his merry way, only to do it again the next week.

But, I’m sorry, the girl and the boy are just not getting a chance to get to know each other personally. There’s no talking about feelings for each other when your dads asking him about sports and your little brother is trying to show him his favorite toy car.

┬áAnd physical contact is practically off-limits. How can you know you’d be okay with investing enough time with somebody with the intention of marrying them, if you don’t even know if you can stand their kissing. It is a problem.

Courting┬áand┬ádating┬ácan be┬ávery similar. Because, guess what? If two people are ‘dating’ then they can spend time at one another’s houses to get acquainted with the families, but they also get time to themselves where they get to be them. Not them plus family.

And, just a little side note about my personal life; I’m in high school, I’m dating someone, and we’ve been together for a year. Now, it wasn’t a year straight, we had a bump or two. But, he has been the only guy. I mean, I had crushes before, but he’s the first guy I’ve ever liked this much or dated. I love my boyfriend, and I see us sticking together a long time. Maybe that counts as bias, or maybe it proves my points.

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There’s my stand on dating. Pick it apart, argue with me, agree with me, ask me questions. I’m up for a lively discussion if you are ­čÖé

 

 

Feels-Crushing books… that you’ll absolutely love.

I do try to stay away from books that leave emotional scars, but I just can’t help myself. They’re too fantastic. Here’s my top picks for books that will make you cry, but you won’t regret it.

1. The Fault in Our Stars [John Green]

2. The Book Thief [Markus Zusak]

3. Allegiant [Veronica Roth]

4. Mockingjay [Suzanne Collins]

 

The last two are part of the Divergent and Hunger Games trilogies, respectively. Now those are all pretty mainstream reads, so if you’re feeling a little hipster, and don’t actually want to cry, look for these gems;

1. Artemis Fowl [Eoin Colfer]

2. Sphinx’s Princess [Esther Friesner]

3. Thr3e [Ted Dekker]

4. Atlas Shrugged [Ayn Rand]

5. To Kill a Mockingbird [Harper Lee]

6. Ophelia [Lisa Klein]

I hope you check out at least one of these amazing books this summer ­čÖé