The ‘D’ Word

Dun dun dunnnnnn…..


*Gasp* oh dear, oh dear, the controversy is boundless. Everyone has their opinion about it, and very few are shy about sharing it. So why should I be?


I already realize that a lot of you, especially Facebook friends, will disagree with me, but just keep in mind that it’s my opinion, and that I have reasons.

Ok, so first and foremost, when is dating okay? High school? College? After college? Never, instead do ‘courting’?

Well, obviously it depends on the parents and the religious views, but personally I think dating is just fine in high school. Not required as a part of some social ritual, but acceptable.

Under conditions.

I do not approve of any sort of dating, no matter the age, if you’re dating just to date. If it’s super casual. Like, “Hey, that guy’s cute, I’ll flirt with him until he asks me out because I haven’t kissed a guy in two weeks.” Yeah, let’s not do that. That’s just leading up to emotional damage for one or both parties.

But, if you and this other person realize that there could be a lot to the relationship, then by all means, date each other and find out. What’s the point in waiting until you’ve both graduated high school and wasting those years that could be used to get to know each other on a deeply personal level.

Some might say that those two people could just hang out a lot and talk, get to know each other that way.

But wait… isn’t that practically the same thing as dating, at least on that level?

Haha, yeah. Yeah, it is. So that doesn’t work.

Oh, but isn’t courting more biblical? Doesn’t it give the family a chance to get to know the couple together?

Actually, before tackling courting, I would like to point out the Bible doesn’t deal with dating. It wasn’t an issue back then! So if you really want to be Biblical, marry your daughters off to the man with the most camels.

Courting sounds great, the boy interested in the girl comes over to the house, eats dinner with the family, endures awkward social situations with said family, then goes on his merry way, only to do it again the next week.

But, I’m sorry, the girl and the boy are just not getting a chance to get to know each other personally. There’s no talking about feelings for each other when your dads asking him about sports and your little brother is trying to show him his favorite toy car.

 And physical contact is practically off-limits. How can you know you’d be okay with investing enough time with somebody with the intention of marrying them, if you don’t even know if you can stand their kissing. It is a problem.

Courting and dating can be very similar. Because, guess what? If two people are ‘dating’ then they can spend time at one another’s houses to get acquainted with the families, but they also get time to themselves where they get to be them. Not them plus family.

And, just a little side note about my personal life; I’m in high school, I’m dating someone, and we’ve been together for a year. Now, it wasn’t a year straight, we had a bump or two. But, he has been the only guy. I mean, I had crushes before, but he’s the first guy I’ve ever liked this much or dated. I love my boyfriend, and I see us sticking together a long time. Maybe that counts as bias, or maybe it proves my points.


There’s my stand on dating. Pick it apart, argue with me, agree with me, ask me questions. I’m up for a lively discussion if you are 🙂




7 thoughts on “The ‘D’ Word

  1. Moruag says:

    First of all, I applaud you for tackling this issue. And I agree with you, for the most part. I personally have decided not to date until I’m prepared to make a choice about who I’m going to marry, and right now I’m not. But I have no problems with people dating as long as, like you said, they’re not playing the dating game, or dating recreationally. One thing that you said piqued my interest, though. You mentioned kissing, and I do have an idea to throw out there about that. I used to think that all kissing outside of marriage is a big NO NO, but I have slowly come to realize that everyone has to make their own decisions about kissing. There are different kinds of kisses (i.e. simple kiss, prolong kiss, French kiss), and there are two ideas which have helped me decide not to kiss until I’m at the altar:

    Idea #1: each level of kissing is meant to lead to the next. Simple kisses, eventually get to be boring and meaningless, but then so do prolong kisses. French kissing gets into a grey area, which leads into my next idea.

    Idea #2: kissing is meant to be the precursor to something that I know both you and I agree is sacred to marriage: sex. And once those hormones get pumping, it’s difficult to cut them short.

    I hope you don’t see me as some sort of anti-kissing Nazi. Far from it. These are simply the principles which I am using to navigate my way through the confusing ideologies and false ideas which are thrown my way in our culture. I mean this merely as food for thought. I love to read your blog and see your opinions on some of today a issues.


    • Thank you so much for the comment, and especially for the compliment at the end 🙂 made me happy.
      I agree with your thoughts on kissing for the most part. I believe kissing is a natural progression in a relationship leading to marriage. I think it’s perfectly alright to start that progression in a relationship before marriage, as long as you and your partner are on the same page.
      My boyfriend and I kiss because we trust each other to keep it within certain limits.
      Plus it’s awfully fun.
      Again, thanks 🙂


  2. Moriah says:

    Apologies for the strange name in my first comment…my tablet decided against autocorrect in that one instance. 😛 also, I was in a hurry. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it haha.


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