You know how people say ‘a relationship is between two people, not the world.’ Well guess what? That’s true. I suppose that’s why I don’t really like the courting idea. Because then the relationship is kind of the family’s property, not just the two people.
There are so many perks to spending most the time in a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend and just them
- Builds trust
There are so many things that you just don’t feel comfortable sharing in front of family, yours or theirs. Deepest secrets, weird quirks, random things. Talking alone, just the two of you, reveals a whole new side of yourself, a side that is normally hidden away. It creates a level of trust that has no equal.
- Going beyond the surface
An extension of the previous, and biggest, reason. When you’re alone is when you show your raw personality for them to either accept or reject. You begin to learn whether or not you’re truly compatible. You discover quirks and potential conflicts. You find out what traits are endearing and which are infuriating.
- Allows the relationship to progress naturally.
When it’s just the two of you, no external influences are either forcing or stunting the progression of the relationship. You come to things as you come to things. Sure, there will be some outside expectations, but it doesn’t seem like they carry as much weight as they would if your entire relationship was on display for family.
In no way am I saying that family involvement in unnecessary or bad. I’m just saying it should be limited. You may be able to be yourself around your family, but what about your boyfriend/girlfriend? They couldn’t possibly feel comfortable sharing the weirdest, most wonderful parts of them with your entire family present. They will be opened to some, not all, of those things over time.
But definitely make sure that they are around your family an acceptable amount, especially if you’re entertaining the idea that one day you could marry that person. Because then they will be part of the family, so they better know what they’re getting into.