Confessions of a Ninja Ballerina: Marriage

It has been 3 1/2 months since Golden Boy and I tied the knot.

It has been truly wonderful.

We have our own place, which we love. A cute little cabin, very small and very adorable. I’m having a grand time decorating on a budget. Value Village. Nobody should be above it. I found the most beautiful framed chalkboard there.

I try really hard to be a good wife and cook our meals most days. On days when I just really don’t feel like it, Golden Boy steps right in and gladly cooks dinner for me, which I find very sweet.

Of course there are the hard parts. But they aren’t bad. Just difficult. Little fights happen just like they did while we were dating. We get past them.

We go on a nice date night once a month. April’s happens to be tonight. He’s taking me out to dinner. I’m very excited ­čÖé

We have impromptu ‘date nights’ also, which usually consist of popcorn and South Park paired with a nice red wine. It works for us.

So, that’s what we’ve been up to. If you have any spectacular advice for newlyweds, we would love to hear it. Or if you newlyweds out there want to share your little stories, I would love to read them!

Also, would y’all be interested if I posted my favorite recipes so far? I have some good ones….

Religious Tunage

“We’re going down to the river
Down to the river, down to the river to pray
Let’s get washed by the water
Washed by the water and rise up in amazing grace
Let’s go down, down, down to the river (You will leave changed)
Let’s go down, down, down to the river (Never the same)”

  • The River

“There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time”

  • Grace Wins

“You are loved
If your heart’s in a thousand pieces
If you’re lost and you’re far from reason
Just look up; know you are loved
Just look up; and know you are loved
When it feels like something’s missing
If it hurts but you can’t find healing
Just look up, know you are loved
Just look up, know you are loved
Ooh”

  • You Are Loved

“So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held”

  • Just Be Held

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are choruses from the four most popular Christian songs today. Really, they sound like one song if you string them together.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t absolutely hate Christian music.

But honestly….. They’re all the same.

God is there

He is with you.

You are loved.

No worries.

There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but generally speaking, Christian songs and shallow puddles of acoustic guitar and keyboards playing the same four chords in every song.

The Bible is deep. There is so much substance there. And so many old hymns portray that so beautifully.

But nowadays contemporary Christians music is like spoon-feeding a baby. Here is the bare bones of Christianity: Jesus loves you.

And of course, it’s true. But can’t you ever sing about anything that has to do with real life? I wanna hear the song about God helped you out of an abusive relationship. I want the grit of real life, the angst, the depression, the pressure.

NOT “I was going through all this hard crap but I was fine because God is with me.”

False.

No one is ever fine going through break ups, addictions, mental illness, death, depression. No one. It doesn’t matter how devout you are, how many times you go to your church during the week. It doesn’t matter who you study the Bible with or how you pray.

Saying that you are ok going through all of that is bullcrap.

You’re lying. You are lying to non-Christians about what faith means.

Faith doesn’t mean you are ok. Faith doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time.

Faith means you have somewhere to go to. Faith means there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Faith is not flowers. Faith is a coach while you struggle through an obstacle course. Faith is your best friend. Faith is not some prescription medicine you take to feel good about yourself.

That’s why Christian music pisses me off. It’s not real. It’s not what people struggle with. It’s so candy-coated.

Step it up, people. I would love some substance.

Mockingjay Part 2

***SPOILERS***

Well, I mean, technically they’re not spoilers if you read the book.

Ok, I watched this last night with my lovely Bohemian Hippie Goddess friend and her little sister, who doesn’t have a blog title yet, but she needs one.

I will think on that.

And this movie… oh my fluffy pink cotton candy.

I forgot how many feels I really had for this fandom.

It was beautiful. Francis Lawrence is incredible. He really brought the book to life and stuck to it very well.

Oh goodness, where do I start….

GALE! I HATE YOUR FREAKING GUTS! GO AWAY! STOP LETTING KATNISS KISS YOU!

KATNISS STOP KISSING THE SACK OF LARD!

Seriously though, it’s great for the story, creates a lot of conflict, but I would be so much happier if Gale and Katniss were actual cousins and had more of a best friend relationship. Because Gale was likable in the first book.

THEN HE BECAME A CLUMP OF CURDLED MILK.

Stop being curdled milk, Gale. Just realize that she is not yours.

Jena Malone is the perfect Johanna Mason and how does anyone look that gorgeous bald?!

I cried when Finnick and Annie got married. Real tears.

I cried a little more when Bogs died.

The sewer scene was literally the most stressful thing I have ever sat through.

I cried when Finnick died.

I cried when Pollux was crying because Castor died.

I cried when Prim died.

I wish I could express my joy at seeing Haymitch kiss Effie. It was just such a simple, innocent, pure kiss. I ship them so so so very hard. They are perfect together. I want to see their future together. Suzanne Collins, pleeeaaassseee??

And, of course, Everlark babies. Adorable-ness.

So… yes. It was most perfect.

Tears.

Psych Ward

Copyrighted


It was hard seeing him like this. Being led through dreary halls, probed with needles, stuck in rooms with no windows. But I held his hand the whole time.

They couldn’t see me.

Whenever we would have a minute alone he’d glance at me, piercing gray eyes that didn’t belong in that grimy, unshaven face.

“This isn’t fair,” He rasped.

“I know.” I placed my hand alongside his face. My pale skin glowed against his rough exterior.

“I just want to be with you.” A tear made a visible path down his face.

“I know sweetheart. But I’m always here.”

“They won’t let me see you sometimes.” He started to get angrier. “They won’t let me talk to you. I can’t touch you!” He shook at the restraints he was in.

I kissed his forehead gently.

” I’m always here. I’m right here with you.”

The men came and got him again. They started leading him somewhere new, somewhere I hadn’t seen. I had to run to keep up.

“Where are you taking me?” His legs went limp, but the men dragging him along didn’t miss a step. They had dealt with this before.

“Tell me where we’re going!”

“We’re just going to help you Mr. Jones.”

“My name is not Jones!” He screamed like an animal, he kicked, he bit, he swore. It tore my heart into pieces.

“Maria?!” He called behind him.

“I’m here baby,” I said softly, tears choking me. “I’m here.”

“Maria!”

“I’m right here. I’m always with you.” But as I said the words I knew something was about to happen.

They led him through a door and it slammed in my face. I reached for the knob but couldn’t grasp it. This had never happened before.

I rushed to a large window. The glass was too thick, the walls had to much padding. He couldn’t hear me. He couldn’t see me.

He thought he was alone.

The men hefted him onto a table and strapped his legs down. He arms were still stuck in that horrendous jacket. His chest was pinned against the cold metal.

I could see he was screaming, the veins popping out of his neck.

“I’m still here!” I screamed.

A long needle was presented to a man with gloves on.

“No. You can’t do this! He’ll forget me!” I wailed as I pounded on the glass. Nobody in the room noticed me.

The needle was inserted into his arm. Even as it was drawn out I could feel it.

I was the ghost inside his head. And they were forcing me out.

“I can’t leave him! He needs me! He loves me!” I hit the glass with my failing strength.

“It’s been so long since he held me,” I whimpered. I was starting to go and I couldn’t even tell him good-bye. It was the car crash all over again. I could see him, but he couldn’t see me.

“Don’t make me go,” Even I could hardly hear my own voice.

They were giving him some sort of medication. I barely caught the pills being forced down his throat as my legs gave out and I sank to the floor.

I tried to tell him that I loved him but the words wouldn’t come out.

My world became white.

Anniversary Musings

You know that moment when you lock eyes with someone for the first time and you just… know?

There’s this shiver crawling in slow motion up your spine. Your mouth twitches into a smile. You find so many hidden things in those eyes.

And you want to know more about them.

It’s been two years since Golden Boy and I went on our first date. Of course, we didn’t know it was a date until he dropped me off. That’s when we decided it had been a date. He met my dad for pity’s sake.

That first date was the most nerve-wracking experience. The entire time we were desperate for non-awkward conversation. I kept staring at his hands, wondering if they were brave enough to hold mine on the first date. I swear we hardly looked at each other.

Two years later we can’t stop looking at each other.

I want to tell all you girls out there (and boys) that there is no problem WAITING. When Golden Boy and I started dating, we had already been friends for a year and we just had this feeling that things were going to work out. I don’t know about him, but I was positive that I could spend the rest of my life flirting with this man.

There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you are sure.

We have something so special, him and I. We are each other’s first and only relationship. First date. First┬ákiss. First everything. And that is not something that is common these days. I’m so glad that he is getting all of me and that I am getting all of him. No one took any of me as theirs and kept it. I was able to tell him that I waited for him. And he waited for me.

There is nothing glorious about being a heartbreaker. There is nothing special about burning through boyfriends or girlfriends. Slow down. Wait to fall in love.

I was in love with my man long before we went on our first date. The great part is that love gets so much deeper with time. Every day I love him more.

I hope that everyone reading this gets that chance. It is the best feeling.

Have a fantastic day everyone.

Book Review: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

First of all the title is incredible.

Incredible.

This book is written in the form of letters to and from the main characters. It follows a writer, Juliet, as she discovers a literary society on the island of Guernsey.It is set shortly after World War II.

It’s an adorable story filled to the brim with quirky and interesting characters. There’s such a variety of personality traits and settings.

There’s enough heart-wrenching twists to make the story deeper than simply an odd adventure.

I don’t want to give anything away because I don’t want to spoil the beauty of it, but if you’re looking for a good book, here it is.

If you have already read it, I would love to talk about it!

Would You Kill Your Child?

“My baby is going to be born with (insert birth defect or illness here), so what’s the point? It will never live a normal life. Might as well put it out of it’s misery now.”

This is my least favorite argument for abortion.

Seriously.

What the heck?

I know this couple whose baby was born with some chronic illness. They did not abort her. If you asked them, I’m sure the thought never crossed their mind.

There’s this kid at work who has this super rare disease, like 40 people have it worldwide. He could develop cancer when he gets older. No one knows how to cure it. It’s dangerous. This kid is one of the sweetest kids at work and makes my day that much better. If his mom had known about this disease, do you think she should’ve aborted him? Of course not! He’s a wonderful kid and she adores him.

There’s a boy with Down syndrome at work. He may be difficult, but do you think his mom regrets the decision to let him live? Of course not.

That’s the thing. Life may not be easy all the time, but all these kids deserve to live. And they are. They do things like taekwan-do, dance, they go on vacations with their families, they go camping. They are wonderful little people.

That’s why that argument for abortion makes me so mad. I know quite a few kids with birth defects or illness and they are fantastic kids. You can’t tell me that’s a good reason to kill them off.

There’s my two cents on the matter.