You Don’t Need the Burka

Modesty is a touchy subject amongst the Christian population.

Amongst the entire population really.

Everyone has an opinion. Here’s ours.

“You Don’t Need the Burka”

by Wild Thing and Bohemian Goddess

 

Modesty is not about what you put on your body. Your wardrobe is a result of your mindset.

You can’t look at somebody who is wearing less clothing than you think they ought to and say “They have low self-esteem. They’re dressing like that because they’re trying to get boy’s attention.”

I, Wild Thing, am married. I dress in a way that is flattering, I dress in what my husband likes, I dress in a way that gives me confidence.

I, Bohemian Goddess, am a single pringle, so naturally I have some interest in attracting the opposite sex, but I believe the most honest way to do that is by dressing myself in whatever makes me feel the most like ME. I might show my back, some stomach or legs, but I’m not doing that for the sole purpose of reeling in men.

Okie doke, now that we have that established, we can move forward.

What makes a long sleeve shirt more modest than a tank top?

Are arms immodest? Are shoulders?

At what point does immodesty kick into effect?

We like crop tops, shorts, high heels, open-back shirts, and strapless dresses.

They make us feel confident.

THAT is what women should be dressing for.

We are not responsible for men’s thoughts. That is a blatant lie fed to us by those who would like us to wear burkas and stay indoors. Rigid Christians (and rigid peoples of other beliefs, such as Islam) who think that to show is skin is to be immodest when really it’s all about intention.

As stated above, we dress to feel beautiful, to feel good about ourselves. We don’t dress so that men walking down the street want to hire us to have sex with them.

Modesty is different for different people! We aren’t trying to tell you what to wear. But be mindful of who you are dressing for.

On a slightly different, but very related, note…

“Slut-shaming”

What. The. Heck?

Why is this term a thing?

When did people decide that being a slut is something to be praised and protected? That’s like saying prostitution is fine and stripping is morally fine.

By the way, since nobody can use a dictionary anymore, the word “Slut” is defined as ” a woman with many sexual partner. See; whore, tramp, harlot”

It’s not about her dressing a certain way. It’s about behavior. Shameful behavior that we should not be encouraging.

The problem with people is that we think it’s better to encourage someone in wrong behavior rather than hurt their feelings.

It’s like saying “No, you’re fine, I’m not going to try to lead you away from Hell because your eternal misfortune is not worth hurting your feelings by saying that maybe you should present yourself in a way that’s a little more respectable.”

If you love someone, you want them to be happy, to feel good, but also you want them to know when they have messed up.

It’s like the relationship between parents and children. Parents love their kids and have their best interest at heart. But when the kid does something wrong, they get disciplined. It’s not because the parent doesn’t love their child. The exact opposite. The parents love their child so much that they don’t want them to repeat that mistake.

That’s what we have to do for our friends.

If Bohemian Goddess was walking around in hot pants and a bralette and stilettos, sleeping with anyone that wanted to have sex with her, you can bet your sweet patuckus I’d tell her to knock it off because she’s worth more than that.

That’s what the heart of modesty is. Self-worth. Respectability.

When you dress for other people it’s no longer about how you view yourself. And that’s unhealthy and you’ll never get the fulfillment you’re looking for.

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A Post in Which I Use a Mean Word

WARNING: If finding out the actual meaning of the word ‘slut’ and why the term ‘slut-shaming’ needs to be done away with offends you than this is not the post for you.

Someone told me today that the word ‘slut’ is around the make girls feel bad about showing off their body.

Obviously this person has never seen a dictionary.

The definition of slut: A woman who has many sexual partners. Also see- whore, harlet, tramp.

Huh. Nothing about her body or the way she dresses.

An awful thing has happened. People now use the term “slut-shaming” when they feel like one person is trying to tell another person how to dress.

Misusing words is dangerous.

By saying people shouldn’t ‘slut-shame’ you are inadvertently saying that being a slut is okay.

This is what your daughters, sisters, and friends are seeing. Being a slut is ok because people who slut-shame are evil, rigid, Christians who are judgmental, celibate, and self-righteous.

And no one wants to be like that.

STOP USING THIS TERM!

You don’t want your little girls to grow up to be sluts! Unexpected pregnancies resulting in abortions would happen. STD’s. Broken hearts. Emotional damage. Sometimes bodily damage.

Saying we shouldn’t ‘slut-shame’ is like saying prostitution is admirable and stripping is morally ok.

What we should be doing is teaching girls that they shouldn’t body-shame which is making other people feel bad about their bodies.

We should be discouraging them from a slutty lifestyle.

Christians especially should not be calling other people out on “slut-shaming”!  When we see others crying out about people “slut-shaming” we need to tell them that nothing about being a slut is commendable and that they should not be encouraging that!

Stand up for your beliefs! You are being silenced because you are afraid of hurting feelings.

Jesus was not silenced. He preached about sexual misconduct to hundreds of people! He told them what was wrong to do. You can do that! You are capable.

The only group that is allowed to be offended and oppressed nowadays is Christians. Anyone else and it’s a hate crime. But not Christians. Because we are SILENT. Speak up!

The church is being persecuted by our culture and we are letting it happen. Other people will not do the work for you. Christians needs to have a voice again.