You Don’t Need the Burka

Modesty is a touchy subject amongst the Christian population.

Amongst the entire population really.

Everyone has an opinion. Here’s ours.

“You Don’t Need the Burka”

by Wild Thing and Bohemian Goddess

 

Modesty is not about what you put on your body. Your wardrobe is a result of your mindset.

You can’t look at somebody who is wearing less clothing than you think they ought to and say “They have low self-esteem. They’re dressing like that because they’re trying to get boy’s attention.”

I, Wild Thing, am married. I dress in a way that is flattering, I dress in what my husband likes, I dress in a way that gives me confidence.

I, Bohemian Goddess, am a single pringle, so naturally I have some interest in attracting the opposite sex, but I believe the most honest way to do that is by dressing myself in whatever makes me feel the most like ME. I might show my back, some stomach or legs, but I’m not doing that for the sole purpose of reeling in men.

Okie doke, now that we have that established, we can move forward.

What makes a long sleeve shirt more modest than a tank top?

Are arms immodest? Are shoulders?

At what point does immodesty kick into effect?

We like crop tops, shorts, high heels, open-back shirts, and strapless dresses.

They make us feel confident.

THAT is what women should be dressing for.

We are not responsible for men’s thoughts. That is a blatant lie fed to us by those who would like us to wear burkas and stay indoors. Rigid Christians (and rigid peoples of other beliefs, such as Islam) who think that to show is skin is to be immodest when really it’s all about intention.

As stated above, we dress to feel beautiful, to feel good about ourselves. We don’t dress so that men walking down the street want to hire us to have sex with them.

Modesty is different for different people! We aren’t trying to tell you what to wear. But be mindful of who you are dressing for.

On a slightly different, but very related, note…

“Slut-shaming”

What. The. Heck?

Why is this term a thing?

When did people decide that being a slut is something to be praised and protected? That’s like saying prostitution is fine and stripping is morally fine.

By the way, since nobody can use a dictionary anymore, the word “Slut” is defined as ” a woman with many sexual partner. See; whore, tramp, harlot”

It’s not about her dressing a certain way. It’s about behavior. Shameful behavior that we should not be encouraging.

The problem with people is that we think it’s better to encourage someone in wrong behavior rather than hurt their feelings.

It’s like saying “No, you’re fine, I’m not going to try to lead you away from Hell because your eternal misfortune is not worth hurting your feelings by saying that maybe you should present yourself in a way that’s a little more respectable.”

If you love someone, you want them to be happy, to feel good, but also you want them to know when they have messed up.

It’s like the relationship between parents and children. Parents love their kids and have their best interest at heart. But when the kid does something wrong, they get disciplined. It’s not because the parent doesn’t love their child. The exact opposite. The parents love their child so much that they don’t want them to repeat that mistake.

That’s what we have to do for our friends.

If Bohemian Goddess was walking around in hot pants and a bralette and stilettos, sleeping with anyone that wanted to have sex with her, you can bet your sweet patuckus I’d tell her to knock it off because she’s worth more than that.

That’s what the heart of modesty is. Self-worth. Respectability.

When you dress for other people it’s no longer about how you view yourself. And that’s unhealthy and you’ll never get the fulfillment you’re looking for.

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Modest is Hottest

Oh, but what is modesty, hm? Many people have different opinions on modesty. And it seem like some don’t have an opinion about it at all…

Please, while you’re reading this, keep in mind that this is MY opinion, not what your opinion must be. Though, it wouldn’t hurt to agree with me 😉 Haha kidding, kidding…. except only kind of.

Anyway, girls, let’s talk modesty. According to the dictionary modesty is sexual reserve: reserve in appearance, manner, and speech, especially in relation to sexual matters. This doesn’t mean you can’t wear tank tops and shorts, that’s not what I believe at all. And, just to share, I sometimes even let my bra straps show *gasp*. You should dress comfortably, and in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. You’re allowed to look cute and feel beautiful.

But, when you start dressing for other people, that’s when lines get blurred. For instance, when you pick out a low-cut tank top, because it’ll get the boys excited… yeah, not modest, not Christian, not classy.

Plus, as a Christian girl, I don’t want to tempt my boyfriend into sexual thoughts. I’m not saying I’m perfect. Of course I want him to like how I look. Confession: I’ve worn shorts because I knew he’d like them. They weren’t, like, spandex, booty shorts. Just regular denim shorts, not even that short. But it wasn’t because I wanted him to think about me like that. It was because I know he likes how I look, and I personally believe that it’s ok to be flirty in how you dress as long as it’s not immodest (sexual, trashy, provocative, whatever floats your goat)

There’s another side to this though, because if you’re dating someone, you want them to be physically attracted to you. I’m sure boys try not to think about girls in a sexual way all the time (well some of them at least… the one’s worth dating) but that’s just not how the world works. And you can’t blame them, girls have those thoughts too. God made men and women attracted to one another, and not just our brains.

So, summary: Modesty; good. Temptation; bad. It’s ok to wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. It’s not ok when you wear clothes just to look hot, or sexy, or whatever.

Swimsuits! NOT an excuse to wear the minimal amount of clothing and say it’s ok because it’s a swimsuit. Honestly, some things are for your husbands eyes only. Bikinis = bad. They were invented, not for comfort, but to show as much skin as possible.

Um… yeah I think I made my point. Comment opinions please 😀