You Don’t Need the Burka

Modesty is a touchy subject amongst the Christian population.

Amongst the entire population really.

Everyone has an opinion. Here’s ours.

“You Don’t Need the Burka”

by Wild Thing and Bohemian Goddess

 

Modesty is not about what you put on your body. Your wardrobe is a result of your mindset.

You can’t look at somebody who is wearing less clothing than you think they ought to and say “They have low self-esteem. They’re dressing like that because they’re trying to get boy’s attention.”

I, Wild Thing, am married. I dress in a way that is flattering, I dress in what my husband likes, I dress in a way that gives me confidence.

I, Bohemian Goddess, am a single pringle, so naturally I have some interest in attracting the opposite sex, but I believe the most honest way to do that is by dressing myself in whatever makes me feel the most like ME. I might show my back, some stomach or legs, but I’m not doing that for the sole purpose of reeling in men.

Okie doke, now that we have that established, we can move forward.

What makes a long sleeve shirt more modest than a tank top?

Are arms immodest? Are shoulders?

At what point does immodesty kick into effect?

We like crop tops, shorts, high heels, open-back shirts, and strapless dresses.

They make us feel confident.

THAT is what women should be dressing for.

We are not responsible for men’s thoughts. That is a blatant lie fed to us by those who would like us to wear burkas and stay indoors. Rigid Christians (and rigid peoples of other beliefs, such as Islam) who think that to show is skin is to be immodest when really it’s all about intention.

As stated above, we dress to feel beautiful, to feel good about ourselves. We don’t dress so that men walking down the street want to hire us to have sex with them.

Modesty is different for different people! We aren’t trying to tell you what to wear. But be mindful of who you are dressing for.

On a slightly different, but very related, note…

“Slut-shaming”

What. The. Heck?

Why is this term a thing?

When did people decide that being a slut is something to be praised and protected? That’s like saying prostitution is fine and stripping is morally fine.

By the way, since nobody can use a dictionary anymore, the word “Slut” is defined as ” a woman with many sexual partner. See; whore, tramp, harlot”

It’s not about her dressing a certain way. It’s about behavior. Shameful behavior that we should not be encouraging.

The problem with people is that we think it’s better to encourage someone in wrong behavior rather than hurt their feelings.

It’s like saying “No, you’re fine, I’m not going to try to lead you away from Hell because your eternal misfortune is not worth hurting your feelings by saying that maybe you should present yourself in a way that’s a little more respectable.”

If you love someone, you want them to be happy, to feel good, but also you want them to know when they have messed up.

It’s like the relationship between parents and children. Parents love their kids and have their best interest at heart. But when the kid does something wrong, they get disciplined. It’s not because the parent doesn’t love their child. The exact opposite. The parents love their child so much that they don’t want them to repeat that mistake.

That’s what we have to do for our friends.

If Bohemian Goddess was walking around in hot pants and a bralette and stilettos, sleeping with anyone that wanted to have sex with her, you can bet your sweet patuckus I’d tell her to knock it off because she’s worth more than that.

That’s what the heart of modesty is. Self-worth. Respectability.

When you dress for other people it’s no longer about how you view yourself. And that’s unhealthy and you’ll never get the fulfillment you’re looking for.

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24 thoughts on “You Don’t Need the Burka

  1. Hannah Zastroe says:

    So what is modesty? It is not about looking as ugly as possible. It is about taking the natural beauty of womanhood and adorning it in a way that reflects one’s true identity. When a girl knows that she is a daughter of the King of heaven, she does not allow her outfits, conversations, and mannerisms to distract from this. She is aware that her body is sacred.
    When a girl puts on a belly-button-showing, spaghetti strap shirt, she is not thinking about how she hopes to lead men to sin. She’s probably thinking, “That’s a cute top, and it will look perfect with my shoes.” But beneath this simple desire to be attractive is a deeper desire to be accepted.

    You might feel “confident” with all your skin showing but that’s going to attract the wrong attention weather that was your intention or not. No one will see a girl with all her assets on display and think of it as something to respect. It’s not a respectable way to dress. Period. And I’m not saying you should put some clothes on or “cover it up”. Do what you want, just know that the way you dress is more important than you’re saying it is. My first impression when I see a young girl who doesn’t dress properly: she doesn’t realize the value of her body. Therefore not respecting herself. It’s different if you don’t know better but I’m pretty sure you do and if you didn’t before now you’ve read this.

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  2. Hannah Zastroe says:

    By the way…
    Mosdety is definitely about what you wear…but also about the way you act, talk, and the way you move your body. For the record, no one is telling you to wear a damn burka!

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    • I think you misunderstood. We said it both is and is not about what you wear. A woman can dress provocatively in a long sleeve shirt and jeans. A man can lust after a woman in a turtleneck sweater dress. The point of this particular article was to point out that you should not dress for other people, a major point in the modesty issue. That was the point BG and I were trying to drive across. If you dress for other people, to purposefully show off your body, to attract men’s stares, odds are you might be dressing immodestly.
      The rest is up to the personal convictions of the woman. She dresses how she is led to dress. But not dressing for other people is understandable whether you are Christian or not.

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    • No, not today’s Anerican feminism. It’s called self-confidence and modesty. Feminism today is not about being modest it’s about doing whatever you want and crying if a man says anything negative to you.

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    • Did you miss the bit where I said we need stop telling people not to “slut-shame” which is very feminist movement. I’m not a third-wave feminist. I’m a addicted feminist, all about work rights and respect. Not superiority.

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      • Kaya says:

        You’re just really confused. And there’s no sense in trying to explain anything to you, you’re clearly not open to new ideas or others opinions. I pray that god will open your mind so you can think bigger, deeper and wiser.

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    • I’m confused about what exactly? I’m totally open to thoughts backed by Biblical evidence. You haven’t tried to explain anything to me. I have said the point of this article is not to dress for other people, which is a very Christian concept. If you’re a Christian you dress in a way that reflects your beliefs. That’s dressing for yourself in a way that makes you feel the most like you. Which part am I confused about? Don’t belittle me, just give me some Biblical evidence.

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      • Kaya says:

        You’re confused about modesty and it’s purpose. You said you’re not responsible for men’s thoughts and leading them into sin is not wrong. So wearing a backless shirt a mini skirt or fishnet stockings is fine? Even if you’re leading a man it’s lust? Or being a poor example to younger girls? You’re so completely wrong if you think leading men to sin isn’t a sin.

        The Bible specifically says:
        And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.”

        Just think on that I’m done arguing if you’re not going to be open minded.

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  3. Kaya says:

    You specifically said “we are not responsible for men’s thoughts” no we’re not but you are responsible for your dress and how it impacts others. Intent or not. So is it a “blatant lie” fed to us by “rigid christians” when jesus himself says it!!?!? And honestly you speak with such disrespect toward other religions and anyone who disagrees with you. Do you think that will make them understand you better. Because it won’t.

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    • I said we are not to a degree, which is why I said a man can list after a woman in a turtleneck dress. I have also said within these comments that if you are a Christian, if you dress for yourself you’ll dress in a way that reflects that. Men will always lust after women and that’s not the woman’s fault. It’s not necessarily the mans fault all the time either. Women are beautiful creatures. But if a woman is dressing specifically so that she makes a man list after her that is a sin. If I go out wearing shorts, a full tank top, and heels, because that’s what I feel like wearing, is it my fault if a man looks at me with lust? It is a touchy grey area subject for sure. My friend and I were simply saying our opinion just as you are. And I believe you’re being much more judgmental than I was.

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  4. Brittney B. says:

    I guess you feel comfortable with men gocking at you and asking “how much?” Lol because no one with self respect would wear a back less shirt, a belly top or fishnet stockings. That is SO SLUTTY. lol doesn’t matter what you think or your intent, no one respects women who dress like that.

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    • I literally never said that. Also I never said I felt comfortable in a backless belly shirt and fishnets. I never wear fishnets because they’re so related to prostitution. No, I don’t like it when men gawk but there’s a difference between gawking and a man appreciating a woman who dresses nicely. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think you missed the point of the article entirely.

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  5. Brittney B says:

    “We like crop tops, shorts, high heels, open-back shirts, and strapless dresses” direct quote and you continue to say that they make you feel confident as a woman. Crop top=belly top. Idk why you denied that you said this it’s right fucking there.

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    • Well I guess you’re pretty rude. You don’t know how I dress all the time, how I act in public, how I act with the opposite sex or anything. I’m quite sick of arguing with you. Goodnight.

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